Help, I need somebody….

It wasn’t quite the Cavern Club – and he wasn’t quite John Lennon – but for his fans ‘Jez we can” was good enough.

He made them wait of course, in the best show business traditions.

Billed for 2.15, it was almost quarter to three before he finally burst, or should that be sidled,onto the stage.

But by then a video of his greatest hits had got them all going – some out of the hall.

But then suddenly there he was, red tie, new suit and all, Islington’s answer to the Fab 4, the Fab 1, Jeremy Corbyn.

They went berserk – the fans that is – who had got in masquerading as members of the Labour Party.

He stood and grinned, they stood and cheered, and clapped and whooped and took pictures to prove it had happened.

Jeremy couldn’t believe he was in a room with his MP’s and most people – or at least most other people -were applauding.

Had he been late having his autocue re-written or just getting his nerve up, now we would know.

To understand Jeremy Corbyn, you have to realise that for 30 years he has spoken, not in sentences, but in slogans.

Thus you make a statement, often controversial, to a group of like-minded people, stop talking, and wait for the applause.

Multiply that by a thousand and welcome to the Labour Party Conference, Liverpool, 2016.

Not that the Labour leader (2016 model) had it all his own way since it was also open to members of the other Labour Party. But they were keeping their heads, and opinions in their back pockets.

Some actually had not bothered to turn up at all which handily made even more seats available to the Jezza fans who had travelled to Merseyside to get a selfie.

The theme of the speech was party unity and union boss Len McCluskey, had got into the mood early with a suggestion deputy leader Tom Watson  should re-locate.

Tom was in the hall after his barnstormer yesterday when he made it clear Jeremy was a bit of a nutter without mentioning brazil or Jez himself.

Luckily had found the time to pop back home  and pick up his inscrutability mask in time for his leader’s speech.

Unlucky however in the same search, London Mayor Sadiq Khan who unfortunately came as himself.

Unfortunate since Sadiq is not believed to be much of a fan of Jeremy’s ever since the Labour leader and his cohorts tried to claim credit for his victory.

So when Jez praised Sadiq you have to remember the look on Sam Allardyce’s face in the papers this morning.

Milk must have curdled all the way to Knotty Ash.

It was, said the socialist of the 1980’s, socialism of the 21st century in a speech more joined up than any Jeremy has given in the gap between.

As for unity, when he finished his standing ovation for the crowd – a habit he shares with Chairman Mao – another crowd poured onto the stage.

Luckily they had all practised as a choir on their way down the stairs and they sang the Red Flag beautifully.

Everybody else went home.


“Beatles” flickr photo by zolierdos shared under a Creative Commons (BY-SA) license

Peter McHugh Written by:

Political satirist, media commentator, renowned journalist, Peter McHugh uses his extensive and award-winning (RTS Journalism Lifetime Achievement Award) experience as an acclaimed and applauded journalist to comment and observe on the latest current events. Satirical posts on Prime Minister Questions every week as well as other key events.