Jeremy Corbyn turned up for Prime Ministers Questions in a puke green suit – which was just as well.
Just when you thought it could not get any worse it got even worse than you thought it could get.
The Labour Party had promised hand-to-hand combat over Brexit, but they forgot to tell Jeremy.
They had however obviously tipped off Theresa May who proceeded to turn him into a duster and wring him out.
He was meant to pin the PM down, but it was the Labour leader who was stretchered off.
Shadow Foreign Secretary Emily Thornberry had promised all-out war on Tuesday when cornered on Newsnight
But she sat silently by as the Prime Minister proceeded to disembowel her boss.
His big thing was to be demand a white paper on Brexit, said those who’d also said puce green went with his eyes.
But even before he got up Mrs M announced there would be one.
As Jeremy face started to match his suit, ecstatic Tory MP’s lay on their backs with their legs in the air.
One Labour MP set the tone by walking out as his leader rose to speak.
Jeremy then challenged Government’s plans for post- Brexit workers rights.
Theresa proceeded to slap him with a Sadiq.
Only this morning, London’s Labour mayor, had said he believed them safe in her hands, she said to more Tory ecstasy.
As Jeremy swallowed this latest treachery he decided shouting his way through was the only way out.
But Mrs M wasn’t finished with him just yet.
Pointing a well-manicured finger nail across the aisle she said his shadow Chancellor, Foreign Secretary, Home Secretary and Brexit Minister all had different views.
As they shook their heads in different directions, Jeremy shouted on.
With their leader now oozing satisfaction, her ministers relaxed.
Foreign Secretary Boris, in town for the day, seemed to be kissing himself. Defence Secretary Fallon seemed to be wondering what Boris tasted like.
Chancellor Hammond looked like someone who wondered what he tasted like.Chancellor Hammond looked like someone who wondered what he tasted like. Click To Tweet
Jeremy and his suit collapsed back onto the bench – it was all over.
But not just yet.
~For reasons known only to himself, Speaker Bercow, decided to call Ed Miliband.
The former Labour leader, in purdah, or at least NW1, since the election rose to more cheers in a minute than he’d had in his five years in the post.
Labour MP’s, short on memory, perked up; Tory MP’s, remembering past victories, shouted even louder.
Jeremy slipped on the rictus grin that Ed used to wear so well.
Then it was over – for now.
Photo Credit: “BREXIT” flickr photo by Frankenstein https://flickr.com/photos/frankenstein/27466313473 shared under a Creative Commons (BY-NC) license