Luckily there’s only one Europe on the ballot paper.

Had he been anyone else, anywhere else, some kindly person might have taken him by the elbow and helped him back to his seat.

But as he was Leader of the Labour Party and it was the House of Commons kindness was in short supply.

And so Jeremy wended his weary way through another Wednesday.

There was a time when Prime Ministers Questions provided the cockpit for the mother of parliaments.

But ever since Jeremy declared ’new politics’, it’s turned into a waiting room for MPs on their way to lunch.

Not that he does not turn up with a plan, it’s just that it never works.

He started to lose his own side today when he kicked off with 90th birthday greetings to Sir David Attenborough.

As he rolled on into the “posting of foreign workers directive”, Tory back benchers filled the Labour silence with animal impersonations.

The PM looked momentarily uncomfortable as he always does when detail is mentioned.

But buoyed on by the menagerie behind him he cheered up and Jeremy meandered on to something else.

The Labour leader finally lost his way on the ‘national living wage’ and Dave slipped a ready-to-wear smile onto his face.

Ostensibly today’s main event was meant to be a challenge to the PM over workers rights in Europe.

Having spent twenty nine and a half of his last thirty years  diametrically opposed to all Europe entails, Jeremy is in a fix.

He and Dave are supposed to be on the same side when it comes to the imminent referendum.

Luckily Jeremy has managed to find another Europe – luckily different from Dave’s – to support.

This Europe supports the workers as opposed to Dave’s which apparently doesn’t.

Luckily again, the referendum ballot paper will mention only one Europe.

Back in the Commons, Speaker Bercow had kept MPs back for misbehaviour.

Finally he called on Tim Farron and the chamber cleared.


“Poll Card EU referendum” flickr photo by abegum shared under a Creative Commons (BY) license

Peter McHugh Written by:

Political satirist, media commentator, renowned journalist, Peter McHugh uses his extensive and award-winning (RTS Journalism Lifetime Achievement Award) experience as an acclaimed and applauded journalist to comment and observe on the latest current events. Satirical posts on Prime Minister Questions every week as well as other key events.